Your Brother Daniel
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Sex and Civilization
With the West massively
committed to redefining sex, marriage and the family, it might be fruitful to
see if any of these innovations have already been tried and what has been
history’s verdict regarding them.
Brian Fitzpatrick suggests that the most “definitive work on the rise and fall of
civilizations, was published in 1934 by Oxford anthropologist J.D. Unwin”:
- In Sex and
Culture, Unwin studied 86 human civilizations ranging from tiny South
Sea island principalities to mighty Rome. He found that a society’s
destiny is linked inseparably to the limits it imposes on sexual
expression and that those sexual constraints correlate directly to its
theological sophistication and religious commitment.
- Unwin noted
that the most primitive societies had only rudimentary spiritual beliefs
and virtually no restrictions on sexual expression, whereas societies with
more sophisticated theologies placed greater restrictions on sexual
expression and achieved greater social development.
- In particular, cultures that adopt what Unwin dubbed
“absolute monogamy” proved to be the most vigorous, economically
productive, artistically creative, scientifically innovative, and
geographically expansive societies on earth. Absolute monogamy is a very
strict moral code. Under absolute monogamy, sex can occur only within
one-man/ one-woman marriage. Premarital and extramarital sex are not
tolerated and divorce is prohibited.
Why should sexual
prohibitions cause social flourishing? Perhaps for the same reason that tobacco
prohibitions might cause health to flourish! There are things that are
pleasurable for a season, whose final bill might prove unaffordable.
There are other things
or institutions that tend to tame the beast within. For one thing, there is
nothing comparable to a committed and trusting relationship. Only within such
an institution can a couple make the necessary sacrifices for the sake of
family well-being.
I had worked for the New
York City Department of Probation for 15 years. Countless times, I’ve had
probationers tell me:
- Mr. Mann, I have a wife and child now. I really need to
settle down and find a job!
They were committed to
taming the beast within with a commitment to something more glorious. However,
society is now telling these probationers:
- “Families” can take many different forms, and no one
can say that one is better than another.
Perhaps he doesn’t need
that job after all. However, In This
Present Age, sociologist Robert Nisbet writes:
- “What sociologists are prone to call social
disintegration is really nothing more than the spectacle of a rising
number of individuals playing fast and loose with other individuals in
relationships of trust and responsibility.”
Without trust,
commitment cannot survive, and without commitment, we are left with nothing
more than social disintegration and children who believe that life is just
about taking care of #1!
Our behaviors can
undermine our families and the future welfare of our children, and our ideas and
beliefs will undermine our behaviors. If sexual freedom is pushed as a virtue
or as a “human right,” it will become increasingly difficult to resist those
momentary, powerful urges. And when our sexual conduct undermines the stability
of our families, it also undermines society.
Fitzpatrick refers to
the work of Harvard historian Carle Zimmerman:
- [He] concludes that “the creative periods in
civilization have been based upon” the strongest form of family, which he
terms the “domestic” type: “The domestic family affords a comparatively
stable social structure and yet frees the individual sufficiently from
family influence to perform the creative work necessary for a great
civilization.” (Family and
Civilization)
- In other words, in an amoral, hedonistic society, you
can’t trust the people you need to trust, not even your spouse. Moreover,
if people can make and break relationships at will, with no legal
repercussions or social stigma, they are much more likely to abandon their
marriages—at their children’s expense—when the going gets tough. Husbands
with roving eyes are much more likely to trade in their wives for new
models.
(Whistleblower,
Nov. 2010, pp. 38f)
It is no surprise,
therefore, that social commentator, Michael Novak, concludes:
- One unforgettable law has been learned through all the
disasters and injustices of the last thousand years: If things go well
with the family, life is worth living; when the family falters, life falls
apart.
The new family
configurations are not only a violation of traditional values; they are also a
violation of our own nature. We are
not made for sexual gluttony. While we can choose to live gluttonously, there
is another part of our nature – a deeper core - that rebels against it.
Much of Israel had been
settled by radical socialistic communities – kibbutzim. The ideal shared by
many of these communities was to have everything
in common. This included their clothing, sexual partners, and even their
children. Anything else constituted ownership
– a dirty word in their thinking.
However, over the years,
they succumbed to the pull of their deepest human desires/needs. Consequently,
each gravitated to a single mate, forming committed monogamous unions. Even
though, in many instances, the children are still raised communally, they
return to their own parents in the evenings, thereby proclaiming afresh that
there is no place like home, and home is with one’s own committed parents.
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